Missing (Virtual) Me

Let’s see. How long have I abandoned this blog? Quite a bit by my standards, I must say. I’ve just come back to work after taking a few days off last week. During the break, I managed to read 3 books and am now gulping down my newest guilty pleasure about the building of a cathedral in Kingsbridge, England in the 1100s. It’s 990 pages thick and I’m just finishing the first 100 pages today. I think my passion for historical fiction has become really deep now. The last 4 books I read are all of this genre.

It’s Ramadhan again and Singapore’s been quite rainy the past couple of weeks. Good for me because that means I don’t have to fight with the blazing sun to keep my fast until the end of the day.

I really don’t have much to say. I just sort of miss writing on this page.

The Cover-Up

From an interview with Charlize Theron:

“Stuart made me softer,” Theron coos. “He was one of the few guys who wasn’t afraid of me. What he saw was not toughness but vulnerability. I am massively vulnerable, and for so long I just worked hard to cover that up. Stuart wasn’t scared to confront that. He is the one man who never worries about kicking me up the backside.”

I’m yet to find my Stuart.

The Reason Why

My living room Sunset from my window My window in the evening

It’s my last night here. My home for almost four years since I first moved to Singapore. My sanctuary, my hideaway from the world when I want to be all by myself. Tomorrow we’ll be living in a new place. Not too faraway from here, but still, it’s a new place. We will have to get used to it, get to know it well before we can call it “home”. Hopefully, that shouldn’t take too long.

We did the handover earlier this evening and after that, 4 of my very good friends helped me move a majority of our stuff to our new place. In fact, they just finished dinner and left a few minutes ago. There are still a few big pieces left and they will be dealt with tomorrow morning.

I wasn’t able to lift a single thing, not tonight and definitely not tomorrow. My supposedly one-night trip to Jakarta two weekends ago turned out to be a week’s affair with four nights spent in the hospital as a result of me having my appendix removed. I just went back to work yesterday and it’s still a bit painful when I move. And since I’m not allowed to lift any heavy objects until I’m properly healed, I’m thankful I have a few good men in my life who are nice enough to help me with my move. God bless their souls.

But to sum it all up, what has happened in the past two weeks really proves that everything happens for a reason. I still can’t figure out why I made that sudden and impulsive decision to go back home for just one day two weekends ago. I only know that if I hadn’t done it, I probably would be dead by now. The doctor said that if they had not performed that surgery on me that night, the results would’ve been fatal. I guess I have to thank my sister and her husband for dragging me to the emergency ward that fateful Sunday, two weeks ago. So yes, everything does happen for a reason. I’m just thankful I’m still alive to be able to write this down tonight.

And by the way, the pictures above are of my soon-to-be old place. I’m putting them up here as a keepsake :-)

Home Alone

It’s raining outside my window and I have my shawl wrapped around my shoulders. I’ve been really busy house-hunting for the past month but am pretty sure my search has finally come to an end now. Hopefully, by next week everything will have been signed and sealed. Fingers crossed for now.

So much has happened since I last jotted down my thoughts on this page and if I were to pour them all out now, the post will be a kilometre long. So, let me just leave it at that and carry on with work today. The kids are enjoying their school hols with their dad in Indonesia and I get to spend some good quality Dew-Time. It’s good to be alone once in a while. For me, that translates to more movie/DVD-watching, more book-reading and more lazy-bumming :-)

Words Carried By The Breeze

I’m in the business lounge at Heathrow, waiting for my flight back home. It’s been an exhausting 5 days and I’m so happy to be on the way home to see Nightmist and the kids. It’s cold outside but I must say, it’s nice to be back here again. To be in this weather, to see people walk quickly under their umbrellas with god-knows-what-thoughts running in their heads. Although I didn’t have time to go anywhere this time around, I made a point to have at least one meal at my favourite roast duck restaurant in the Bayswater area. A dear friend accompanied me there just a few minutes after I landed, hence, the craving I’ve had for months was finally fulfilled.

And going back to how I feel about London, it’s funny how my perception has changed throughtout the years. London used to be home. It used to be a playground for the seven year-old in me. Filled with sweetshops and bookshops, visits to the cinema, strolls in the park and Wednesday evening laundry with my mum. But nowadays, it just reminds me of work. Although I still feel nostalgic each time I set foot in this capital, I realise that warm fuzzy feeling I used to get when I spoke about it in the past, is no longer there. Maybe someday I’ll get it back.